


come to the darkside (we have blood bags)

by TobytheWise



Series: Toby's SH Bingo [23]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bad Puns, Clan Leader Simon, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, M/M, New Vampire Raphael, reverse verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24702619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobytheWise/pseuds/TobytheWise
Summary: The cracky Reverse Verse in which Simon is the clan leader watching his boyfriend being reborn and Raphael wonders the merits of crawling back into his own grave.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago
Series: Toby's SH Bingo [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544428
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59
Collections: SHBingo





	come to the darkside (we have blood bags)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my final bingo square for my Shadowhunterbingo card. This is my reverse verse square. It's complete and utter crack. Enjoy <3

“Hello?” 

“Simon,” Magnus’ voice comes from the phone, his breathing labored and his voice worried. 

“What is it?”

There’s a long pause. “Simon. It’s Raphael.”

Simon always knew this day would come. With a heavy, unbeaten heart, he prepares as best as he can before heading to the New York Institute. 

~~~

Raphael wakes slowly. The dirty around him is cold and unyielding. He fights harder than he’s ever fought before. The burning at the back of his throat is so intense it threatens to distract him from digging but he keeps moving, determined to break through the surface. 

When the cold air finally hits his face, Raphael sucks in a sharp breath. The feeling is  _ weird _ . The air goes in but it causes no relief for the burning he’s feeling. He looks up, a tiny bit of tension leaving his chest at seeing Simon and Magnus. 

“Don’t worry, my  _ batty _ babe,” Simon says and it’s only in that moment that Raphael’s eyes adjust, giving him a clear view of what Simon’s wearing. 

Raphael’s vampire boyfriend is wearing aviator sunglasses. At night. His shirt is obnoxious, reading ‘Welcome to the darkside, we have blood bags’. 

“Oh god,” Raphael murmurs, wincing as the word  _ burns _ as it comes out. 

Simon stutters. “What the fuck? You can say that without even practicing? I’m the clan leader and  _ I _ can’t even say it yet.” Then Simon’s smile is stretching wide. “It’s because  _ I suck _ .”

“I wanna die.”

“You already did,” Simon says, giving him  _ finger guns _ . 

“Could you just give him a blood bag?” Magnus asks, rolling his eyes. 

“Oh yeah. No problem,” Simon murmurs, bending down to pick up a blood bag and throwing it to Raphael. Only, his aim is shit and instead slams into a nearby gravestone, bursting open and making blood fly everywhere. “Shit.”

“You know what? You should have just staked me,” Raphael says, not even sure himself if he’s joking or not. 

“Hardy har,” Simon says, getting closer and handing Raphael a blood bag. Raphael tears into it, his teeth aching as his fangs slide down into place for the first time. He closes his eyes, savoring the sweetness of the blood, feeling like he’ll never be able to get enough, careful to get every single drop. 

“Huh,” Simon murmurs. “You’re so  _ clean _ for a baby vampire. First blood bag I had after I turned ended up  _ everywhere _ .”

Raphael nods at the blood covered gravestone. “So did mine.”

“You’re  _ bloody _ beautiful.”

Raphael rolls his eyes, but a tiny part of him can’t stop from smiling. And because he’s a fool that’s  _ in love _ with this adorable moron, Raphael says back, “I think that was halfhearted, Simon. You’re lucky I have a  _ heart _ y tolerance for your bullshit.”

The look on Simon’s face is worth losing his dignity at those awful puns. Simon reaches out, pulling Raphael into a tight hug and for the first time since being reborn, Raphael feels safe and at home. He buries his face against Simon’s throat, his newly formed vampire nails digging into the back of Simon’s shirt. 

“You’ll be okay,” Simon tells him, his voice serious for the first time since this whole thing. 

“I know. I have you to make sure of it.”

Magnus claps, breaking up their moment. “Alright, alright. Enough of that. Why don’t we head back. I make a mean bloody Mary.”

Raphael groans. “Not you too.” But on the inside, Raphael’s glad that already things are normal. He’s sure he has a long road ahead of him but he’s positive that with these two beside him, it’ll all work out. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you're over 18 and love Shadowhunters, come join the [Hunter's Moon](https://discord.gg/RhZPtsd) :D


End file.
